We are what we watch.

Yesterday, I saw a fascinating documentary on Netflix called These Amazing Shadows, about the Library of Congress National Film Registry.  I would highly recommend it to anyone.

The Registry is not the AFI list of best films. Thankfully.  Yes, there are things on there which are artistic and which need to be seen by as many people as possible.  And there are films whose major impact was only on other filmmakers. But mostly, the Registry tells the story of us, as a people, through the lens of what we watch. (One of the requirements for inclusion is that it needs to be an American movie — made in America or by (or with the involvement of) an American company.)  As several people in the film discuss, the movies provide a framework for understanding who we are, not just to the extent that they show contemporary styles or environments (many or most don’t), but how what we watch says so much about who we are.

The Registry was originally an answer to the philistine colorization attempts of Ted Turner.  The documentary has a clip of Turner announcing that, since he had purchased the MGM film libraries, the movies were his to do with as he pleased.  (This included colorizing such films as the original King Kong and The Maltese Falcon.) Such hubris! Such a failure of understanding.

There was a huge outcry, including Congressional hearings that heard from actors and directors such as Woody Allen, Sidney Pollack, and Jimmy Stewart. The film registry was created to protect “enduring works of cultural, historic, or aesthetic value.”  That covers a great deal of ground.

When it started out, the Registry was very much a “let’s protect these treasures from the barbarians”  endeavor.  Look at the first year, 1989, or even the second 1990, and the movies selected were for the most part classics.  The oddest choice in the first year was, in some sense, Star Wars: it was certainly the youngest — only twelve years old at the time of its inclusion. (Actually, Star Wars brings up an interesting question: if a filmmaker opts later to go back and redo parts of his movie, as Lucas did with the Star Wars movies, which version do you keep?  I don’t know the answer, but my hunch is that it would be the version first seen on-screen.)  Movies have to be ten years old before they can be included: only a handful (Fargo, Toy Story, Do the Right Thing) made it the first year they are eligible, only a handful more (Beauty and the Beast, Schindler’s List) in their second or third year of eligibility.

But the registry quickly became about more than that.  Films were included that were essentially home movies: blacksmiths at work, soldiers at war, the murder of a president.  Yes, great movies were still included:  “aesthetic value” was still very much part of the equation. But movies were there because of historic significance, too: Topaz was a film of the lives of the residents of the Topaz internment camp  in Utah.  A Computer Animated Hand was a graduate school project that broke new ground in developing the concepts and tools for computer animation. Theodore Case Sound Test: Gus Visser and His Singing Duck was a test film showing a man making a duck quack on cue.

The Registry also came to be about preservation.  So many films, even well-known ones, are in danger of being lost due to the ravages of time and neglect.  The film stock on which movies were made is subject to degradation, and in the case of early films, are extremely flammable. Even relatively recent films, such as The Godfather, needed restoration to capture the original look of the film.  Colors fade, too many copies can be made from masters, scratches develop.  The archivists at the LOC keep the films as close as possible to what we would have seen.

Films are also subject to the desecration of censors: one fascinating section of the documentary was on the movie Baby Face, which as shot and originally edited by the filmmaker was for its time much more suggestive and racy than the version the studio allowed into theaters. By sheer serendipity, one of the copies which the archivists at the LOC were given contained the movie as originally envisioned with the missing footage intact.  Seeing the two, where the cuts were made by the censors, shows how much more watered down and less inflammatory the originally released version was.

But there are so many movies that can’t really be classified as aesthetically superior or historic that nonetheless had cultural impact.  These are the movies that we quote to death, or that have become touchstones for shared experiences.  My two favorite examples of this are The Rocky Horror Picture Show and “Let’s All Go To the Lobby!”

Let’s face it, Rocky Horror is, on its own, not a very good movie.  It’s stilted and over-acted and the plot is incoherent at points. But watch it with theater full of people dressed in lab coats or fishnets and corsets, throwing rice and singing along, and you have an experience.  For people of a certain age (and that’s a rather long span — maybe thirty years) you had to see Rocky Horror at least once — usually many times over. People who Monday to Friday 9 -5 worked as grocery clerks or accountants or baristas turned into thespians at midnight on Saturday, dressed in weird costumes and acting along with the people on-screen.  It wasn’t a movie, it was a movement.

(My favorite high school student project film was done by a friend of the Not-So-Little Drummer Boy about members of a Rocky Horror troupe and a Christian choir group.  It was fascinating to see the common desires that drove people in both groups (engagement, involvement, community), as the answers they gave to questions such as “Why do you do this?” mirrored each other.)

“Let’s All Go to the Lobby!” is a piece of advertising played between movies on a double-feature to encourage people to go spend money in the snack bar. It has singing sodas and popcorn boxes, and a stupidly catchy melody.  I remember it dimly from my childhood, but it made enough impression on me that when I saw it had been included, I started humming the song.

If I have one criticism, is that there is historically significant news film that is not included.  The Apollo moon landing, for example, or the Challenger disaster. The footage of the second plane crashing into the World Trade Center, and the subsequent collapse, is not there.  In general, with a few notable exceptions such the Hindenburg disaster, there is little news film.  As far I can tell, there is no television.  Actually, I take that back: one of the recent inductees is They Call it Pro Football, from NFL films, which would have been shown on t.v.  There are reasons for that, I suppose, given that most television is episodic, but there still should be room to include pivotal television moments.  “The Puppy Episode” from Ellen comes immediately to mind. Still, what they did select is amazing in its scope.

The new inductees are announced in December.  I can hardly wait to see what they selected.

I can hardly wait to see what stories about ourselves we elect to treasure forever.

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I had planned to spend a lot of time writing this evening, and this month in general.  Friday was the first day of NaNoWriMo, and while I have not participated in years (I have neither the attention span nor the talent to develop coherent plot) I do try to celebrate November by doing at least a little writing.  I was hoping this year to write 50k words in some format.  Much, I hoped would be here (although you guys might be really bored by the time I was finished), but some in other projects.

I had two projects over the spring and summer which, if I had waited, would have given me a head start of about 11K on the fifty required.  It was important to finish them, however, both for personal reasons and because one of them was written for publication. (I may discuss that in a separate post.)

As for the writing, blogging is really the format which mosts suits me. I am terrible at plotting (the one attempt I made at writing a novel was laughable), but more than that I need closure and to move on.  With an attention span like mine (“Squirrel!”), long form writing — fiction or not — requires more discipline than I can seem to muster.  But short essays, or observations on life, are things which I enjoy.  More than simply enjoy; when I am emotionally strong, it is something I need to do, am compelled to do.  I am not sure that this counts as writing, but it is something.

When I am doing it right, I am thoughtful and thorough in my research and reasoning.  I don’t do it right nearly often enough, but I do sometimes.  During NaNoWriMo, or whatever version of it I am choosing to follow, quantity is far more important than quality.  So over the next month, you may see a lot of writing that is, shall we say, less than scintillating. I shall try not to be too boring, and keep melodramatic navel-gazing to a minimum.

I do have a trouble with emotional exhibitionism, however, a bit.  Blogging does nothing to keep that in check.  I need to write more substance; and there is a lot of substance out there to write about.

Tonight, though, writing may be a bit difficult.

I fell yesterday while precinct walking for candidates for the Sunnyvale City Council.  (No, I don’t live in Sunnyvale.  I still support these guys because I live in the city next door, and it is important to have intelligent folks in charge.) I sprained my ankle, which was evident immediately.  What I discovered later was that I had pulled a rib muscle.  (Actually, I rehurt the rib: last weekend it was bothering me, but had gotten better.) It hurt.  Today, though, I swallowed 800 mg of ibuprofen, and went in to work. After an hour, I decided that my rib and my ankle hurt enough that I would not be productive, so I left home.

After I got home, I remembered that I needed to drop a utility payment in the box at City Hall.  So I went out, planning to grab more ibuprofen and Klonopin or whiskey (hey, it’s not Vicodin, but it works) after  I got home.  I was walking across the plaza in front of City Hall when my heel caught on the edge of a very small step, the red strip at  the edge making the step look narrower than it was.

I fell very hard.  I could hardly move for the pain in my ribs, and my ankle was turned again. Although I did not actually hit my head on anything, I developed a short headache.  My knees and wrists are scraped.

I got home, and have taken meds.  My ankle (which had a brace on it) seems like it is going to be okay. The brace protected it.  The rest of me, though… the ribs on my right side are the worst.  They are tender to the touch, and moving hurts.  Not bad enough to go to the ER, but certainly bad enough to go to the doctor in the morning.  My arms, shoulders, and neck are also in pain, but the ribs definitely seem to be the worst.

I hope nothing is broken.  Probably not.

This is the fourth time this year I have had a bad fall. I realize that that is not a lot, but the falls have been worse than my usual clumsiness.  I’m just getting older, I suppose.

Of course, writing may help by taking my mind off things.  It’s either that or watch Ken Burns documentaries — either on PBS (currently Prohibition) or on NetFlix. (Just an aside: I have a deep crush on Daniel Okrent.) Or, better yet, listening to podcasts of “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me!”

Of course, if I am going to hit that 50K, I am already seriously in the hole.  In order to hit 50,000 words in 30 days, you need to write around 1,700 a day.  So by this time, I should have 5,100 done.  Instead, I have about 1,300, some 3,800 short. which means I need to write an additional 145 words a day, or one additional short post a day.  Undoubtedly, there will be posts whining about work, recipes and menus come the end of the month, as well as more than one “things  I am thankful for” post. (I’m working on that whole “gratitude” thing.)

See what you’re in for?

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Today is fired.

You ever tell something about yourself, to someone you think is a friend, and have them react in consternation and disapproval?

I feel … ashamed. As though there is something intrinsically wrong with who I am.  I want to crawl into a hole somewhere. It creates a reluctance to tell people about myself, and self-loathing when I give in to my very sad tendencies to emotional exhibitionism.  To allow myself to be close enough to anyone to be totally honest is to be far too vulnerable.   It is a conundrum: to be honest and be me, or be guarded and be at some deep level alone. Or be me, and be openly alone.

To be invisible or be unacceptable.

You people know me better than many, but oddly enough so often when I write I feel as though  am talking to myself.

I fell while precinct walking.  I sprained my left ankle, which hurts some, and reinjured my right rib, which hurts crapload. I am lying in bed, having taken meds, and wondering drowsily what to do next, other than give up and go to sleep.

Maybe life will seem brighter when I wake.

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Before on this blog, I have commented how troubling I found the lyrics that Stephen Sondheim wrote to “America” for the stage version of West Side Story.  I was reminded of this when I was watching the his birthday concert for the hundredth time yesterday. (It’s comfort food.)

The lyrics paint a grim picture of Puerto Rico, while glorifying the mainland American experience.  I always feel uncomfortable, as though I am listening to a cleverly written but no less objectionable ethnic joke. (I always thought the best part of the piece was Jerome Robbins’ explosive choreography.)

Then I read the lyric Sondheim wrote for the movie version.  It is sharp, pointed, and gives voice to the frustrations of people looking to find a better life, who facing slamming doors and limited opportunities, contrasted against the hope and optimism of those who are excited and happy about their home.

I love it.

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If February 15 is National Half-Off Chocolate in Red Heart-Shaped Boxes Day, November 1st is the $1 White Pumpkins from Safeway Day.  (Usually, I haul myself to Half Moon Bay (sort of a tradition) for white pumpkins, but the van is acting odd.)

You need to use white pumpkins — and the right kind of white pumpkins — for baking.  Some varieties of white pumpkins have greenish interiors and taste squash-like.  Other types have reddish-orange flesh  and smell faintly like cantaloupe. They’re sweeter than your typical jack-o-lantern pumpkins.

Right now there is the sweet smell of roasting pumpkin wafting through the house.  Later, it will be scraped from the skin, divided in two-cup portions, and frozen.  It will be sweet, rich pumpkin-date bread, to be served with cream cheese, or mixed with condensed milk to be baked into pies.  I may even try my hand at soup this year.

I love fall.

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Artists in residence.

I have left the Borg…  for another Borg.  The Droid 2 is now a paperweight.  I have left the Android universe, and am back in the Apple fold.

The iPhone4 is now up and running.  In keeping with the naming conventions for my devices (except for the Droid, which never got named), the iPhone is Artemisia. (Thus far there have been Jan (my first laptop), Francisco (a defunct external drive that I knocked onto the floor while it was running a backup), Henri (Francisco’s replacement) and Georgia (my current laptop).)  I don’t expect to hit the problem Apple did with the big cats, at least not anytime soon.  Several of my favorites are out of consideration, though, since I have a rule against using the first names of friends and family.  This eliminates Singer-Sargent (not to mention Constable and Turner), Whistler, Chagall, Cassatt, and Hockney, among others.  (And NO Ninja Turtles.  I’m  split on whether Michaelangelo would be gone in any case — I know a lot of Mikes.)

I think naming a piece of electronics Vincent — or  Heironymous — might be tempting fate.

But there is still Edward, Edouard, Paul, Domenikos (Theotokopoulus, a.k.a. El Greco), Dorothea, Diego,  Auguste, Pierre, Chuck, Alessandro, Hans, Rosa….

 

 

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Thumpa…thumpa… thumpa

I have something of a bad history of Halloween accidents. I have had more than one ER visit from cutting myself while making jack-o-lanterns. (Not recently, thank God.)  Just this evening, I sliced my finger with one of those kid-safe pumpkin saws. (It was only a small cut, which is why I use the kid-safe pumpkin saws.)

When it came to placing the jack-o-lanterns on top of the newly laid down bark mulch, I was worried.  There are a few words for that mulch, such as “tinder” and “fire hazard.”  No way was I placing lit candles anywhere near it.

I found the solution at Walgreen’s:  two multi-colored rotating disco balls. Now, when (not if) the pumpkins get knocked over and smashed by obnoxious teenagers, I’ll simply be out ten dollars in really cheap lighting, instead of a house.

Our pumpkins rock.

Posted in Miscellany | 1 Comment

Boredom on a Sunday afternoon: love songs and other drugs.

This afternoon, I was listening to some new music — “Lego House,” by Ed Sheeran — and I got to thinking about love songs.  Being an incurable romantic (is there any other kind?  romanticism is a chronic condition), every so often I go through a phase of listening mostly to love songs, followed by listening to breakup songs. And it seems to me that relationship songs fall into roughly four categories: there are love songs, and then there are breakup and “I hate you” songs, and then there are scary obsessive songs. (Leaving aside the “I really need to find someone songs” and the “totally helplessly infatuated” songs (think “The Girl from Ipanema”).) I am omitting show tunes and standards, because that would at least double the list (although “One for My Baby” deserves special recognition). Here are some of my favorites in each:

Love songs:

“Asking Us to Dance,” Kathy Mattea. The most romantic song ever written.

“And So It Goes,” Billy Joel.  New, cautious love… giving your heart away even though you know the chances are things will not work out: “And you can have this heart to break.” My second favorite love song, after the previous one.

‘Fields of Gold,” Sting  — although the Eva Cassidy cover is so much better — mature love which stands time, in many ways the antithesis of the Billy Joel song.

“In My Life,” The Beatles.  Breathtakingly simple and direct.

“If I had a Million Dollars,” Barenaked Ladies. Love and puns.  Who could ask for more?

“Deeper than the Holler,” Randy Travis. Love in the context of life lived.

“Love Only Knows,” Josh Groban.  Desperately hanging on sometimes works.  (Usually not.) Also, Groban has the perfect voice for love songs. It has some of my favorite lines: “You were the secret I loved to keep, the name I would only sing in my sleep,” and “How your arms pull me in like the tide pulls me under.”

“I’m on Fire,” Bruce Springsteen.  Not so much a love song as a lust song. A jewel.

****************

Breakup songs, “lover scorned” division:

“One More Minute,” Weird Al.  My absolutely favorite breakup song. Ever.

“F*** You,” Cee Lo Green.  A cathartic song for a variety of “you bastard” situations, even when the lyrics don’t quite fit.  The name says it all. The clean version just isn’t the same.

“Done,” The Band Perry.  I heard this for the first time recently — it is just great.

“Song for the Dumped,” Ben Folds Five. That must have been quite a t-shirt.

“Rolling in the Deep,” Adele. I don’t know who dumped Adele, but boy was she pissed off.

“Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” Kelly Clarkson. (Like I still need you, idiot…)

“Better Things to Do,” Terri Clark. (…nope, I don’t.  Go away.)

“I Knew You Were Trouble,” Taylor Swift, although I much prefer the Michelle Chamuel version. (Self-destructive behavior 101.)

“Red Rubber Ball,” The Cyrkle.  An oldie but goodie. (“If I never hear your name again, it’s all the same to me.”)

“Outbound Plane,” Suzy Bogguss. She’s not really scorned as much as disgusted and annoyed.

******************

Breakup songs, “broken-hearted” division:

“Someone Like You,” Adele. (Don’t mind me… I’ll just be over here being miserable…)

“Let the Wind Chase You,”  (Okay, I give up running after you — it’s not like you’re going to notice anyway.) and “The Song Remembers When,” both by Trisha Yearwood. (Gee, I miss you.  I shouldn’t, but I do.)  Maybe because these are both by Trisha, I think of them together.

“What You Didn’t Say,” Mary Chapin Carpenter and “Quittin’ TIme” (the acoustic version from Party Doll).  Again, perhaps because they are done by the same singer, I think of them together.

“Rest Stop,” I love this song because I heard Rob Thomas explain that yes, this really happened to him, when his date kicked him out of the car three miles from a rest stop on I-75 south of Gainesville, Florida.  I know the rest stop he was stuck at. It is in the middle of nowhere.

“Hallelujah,” by lots of different people.  I can’t listen to the Jeff Buckley version; there is heart-breaking and then there is want-to-cut-my-wrists-despairing. My favorite is the Rufus Wainwright cover from Shrek.

*****************

Obsessive songs:

“Every Breath You Take,” The Police. It sounds so romantic… until you realize that if you were faced with this guy, you’d be changing your phone number and calling the cops.

“Grenade,” Bruno Mars. On the surface of it, this looks like a “broken-hearted lover song,” until you really think about the lyrics:  “I would take a grenade for you, put my hand on a blade for you”? Really? And you want me to do the same for you? Um, no.

“Layla,” the Derek and the Dominoes version.  Unlike the cover that Clapton did of his own song later, the original feels uncomfortably possessive.

“Run for Your Life,”  The Beatles.  This song freaks me out so much that when I loaded Rubber Soul on my iTunes, I deleted it. I have this here not because it is a favorite but because it is such an exemplar of this category.

“Harder to Breathe,” Maroon 5.  This would fall under the “lover-scorned” category, except for the  threat of violence.  It also falls under “I shouldn’t like this song, but I do” (see “Vehicle,” by the Ides of March.)

 

So, do you have any favorites?

 

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That’s my boy.

I talked to The Red-Headed Menace’s English teacher this evening. She showed me the first paper he turned in this fall, based on Nate Silver’s The Signal and the Noise.  The paper’s title?

“Dilemma Me from Evil.”

Ah, yes.

We also talked about his proposed senior paper.  “It’s supposed to be twenty pages, but his will probably be longer because of the topic he chose….” and she showed me: “Is the U.S. patent system just?”

Hey, good luck with that one, kid.

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How to know you have spent far too much time thinking about the BART strike…

When you listen to the song “Wonderwall,” and instead of “All the lights that light the way are blinding,” your mind hears “And all the arbitration there is binding…”

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Dear members of the Boston Red Sox (as well as other major leaguers — you know who you are):

You are not Mennonite farmers from 1872.  Shave, already.  Or at least trim the beard, ‘kay?

Sincerely,

A fan with sensibilities.

Posted on by Pat Greene | 2 Comments

Musings on music.

I often write about my tastes in music.  This morning, I was listening to my favorite Glenn Frey song (okay, the only Glenn Frey song I like since the Eagles broke up), “Smuggler’s Blues.”

It occurred to me that although it is a pretty good song, I really only loved it for one line, “it’s the politics of contraband,” referring to the effect the drug trade has on the country.  It’s a great phrase.

There are other songs I love mainly for one or two lines.  The opening to Prince’s “Little Red Corvette” is classic: “I knew by the way she parked her car sideways it wasn’t gonna last.”  In two lines, he paints a clear picture of a lady filled with ego and a sense of entitlement.  There is the chorus to Jack Johnson’s “Flake,”  “it seems to me that maybe, it pretty much always means no.”  So true, so true.

[ETA:  How could I forget one of my favorite lines ever? From Bruno Mars’ “Grenade”: “Tell the Devil I said hey when you get back to where you’re from.”]

“Kyrie” by Mr. Mister is another case of the chorus meaning more to me than the rest of the song: “Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel, kyrie eleison through the darkness of the night, kyrie eleison where I’m going will you follow? Kyrie eleison, down the highway to the light.”  That this song — with its explicitly religious language (“kyrie eleison” means “Lord have mercy” and is part of the Roman Catholic liturgy) — ended up at #1 on the Billboard charts never ceases to surprise me.  I am simply assuming that the majority of people who bought it were either Roman Catholic, or thought the phrase sounded cool without knowing its meaning.  Then again, I’m a cynic.

[I often  listen to “Kyrie” before I go into work.  It’s a prayer for strength.  I do not know if there is a God, but if there is I hope she is listening.  (I do think the theology of the song is a little backwards, though:  it should be “where you’re going I will follow,” instead of the other way around.)  Another song I listen to these days before going into work is Ronnie Dunn’s “Cost of Livin’.”  It kind of reminds me of why I do not just quit this job, of why what I do matters.  I have talked to people like the guy in this song — hardworking men and women who “gave [their] last job everything, before it headed south,” and who have no insurance as a consequence.]

One of my other favorite lines comes from a song I love all around:  Eddie from Ohio’s “Number Six Driver.”  “The good news out here on the highway is that everything in life is a suggestion, but the bad news out here on the highway is that every question just begs another question.”  I love the idea so much I am willing to forego my usual hysterical reaction to the misuse of the phrase “begs the question.”

Then there is the opening to “Lonely Inanimate” by the Canadian group Captain Tractor, who deserve to be better known in the States than they are: “The stuff in the sink said its first words to me after I scraped it off my plate from my supper; it asked me if I ever thought of bathing, I answered quite honestly  ‘no’.”

And yes, I am following The Voice.  I don’t like anyone just yet (and I am still miffed that Michelle Chamuel came in second last year) but it’s early.  It gives me a chance to hear new music: I listen to the contestants, then  hunt down the originals.  Last year, it was “Titanium,” “Raise Your Glass,” and “The A Team” (which, oddly enough, I liked better done by Caroline Glaser during the knockout rounds than by Ed Sheeran), not to mention Usher’s “Twisted”;  this year thus far it is “Counting Stars” by OneRepublic and The Band Perry’s fabulous “Done.”

That said, it would be cool if the nerdy former Apple Store employee won, simply because, after all, geeks are so sexy.

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Miscellany

Just a few random thoughts on this Monday? Tuesday?  It gets hard to keep track of what day it is.  Since my work week starts on Sunday, this is technically Monday, but functionally Tuesday.

Looking at the back of the Cream of Wheat box this morning, I see that they suggest putting maple syrup or raspberry preserves in it.  No!  The only true proper way to eat Cream of Wheat is with lots of butter.  Sort of like grits, except that grits require you to dump shredded cheese in as well.

I may be the beneficiary of some Apple enthusiasts’ somewhat pathological need to have the latest and greatest iPhone.  Since the 5 has come out, used 4s have become easier and cheaper to get.  My particular iPhone 4 (which has yet to be hooked up to my number, since we’re switching services) originally was from… Afghanistan.  I am hoping simply that it belonged to a member of the military stationed abroad.  Otherwise, I should say hi to whatever NSA lackey is monitoring my phone calls.

It’s a beautiful day here in Northern California.  It was foggy and 49 this morning, and is expected to get into the seventies today.  Gotta love those twenty-five degree temperature swings.  On the other hand, the sky is just wonderful.

The Mountain View City Council has decided to do the right thing and pay prevailing wage to the workers building city-funded affordable housing.  The vote was 6-1, with Mayor John Inks casting the sole opposing vote, saying, “This is where you have politics intervening in the marketplace that’s better decided by businesses and labor groups,” he said. “I don’t think that it’s appropriate for a political authority to pick favorites over others.”

Your Honor?  I feel the need to point out that since the city is funding the construction, they are for all intents and purposes a business interest here, the same as if they were a private developer hiring subcontractors.  A private developer would be certainly be allowed to restrict his subcontractors to those paying prevailing wage.  Besides, you guys rightfully pay prevailing wage to workers on pretty much all other city-funded projects, why not this one?

As an aside, Matt Savage, the resident quoted at the end of the article, is a coworker of mine.  He’s a really nifty guy — he was my team leader in the waning days of the Chavez campaign.  He’s bright, funny, and politically progressive — my kind of person.

Speaking of work, it is definitely getting harder.  Depending upon my mood, I sometimes dread going in. I am becoming inured to the Tea Partiers, and other angry Obamacare opponents (last night, I had a very angry man, who after announcing he had insurance,  ranted that the Affordable Care Act did nothing to really help poor people, that it needed to go farther.  He was really mad — I wish I could have told him I agreed with him, but that the Act was a great deal better than the current situation. Of course, we’re not supposed to discuss politics — on either side of the fence — so I guess it’s just as well he slammed the phone down before I could say anything.)

It’s the other calls that are getting to me: the people who are grateful and relieved to be getting insurance (especially people who are now going to be eligible for Medi-Cal, California’s version of Medicaid).  They tell me their stories, and so many of them are heartbreaking.  My ability to deal with human misery is rapidly declining.  It’s not that I am finding it hard to care — how could I do this work and not care about people? — it’s just that it gets wearying.

Speaking of work, it’s time to go get ready.  Wish me luck.

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How did we become this?

It is day 15 of the shutdown.

All because Tea Partiers hate Obama and what to destroy the ACA.

I read the news.  (Less and less, I do admit.)  I worry about how we’re going to make it if this thing goes on more than a month.  (And before you say “That’s not going to happen” — the shutdown in 1996 lasted 21 days (over Christmas yet, the bastards) and the people in Congress at that time were horrible, but not batshit crazy like now.)

And then there are the reductions in the SNAP program, which make me feel sick to my stomach.

And then I go to work, where in between the people telling me that Obamacare is going to destroy the country (or at least the middle class) I hear the other stories:  people who have been going to ERs (and that only when they absolutely had to) because they had no insurance; people without insurance because with this economy they have lost their full-time jobs and can only find temporary or part-time work, if they find work at all, and have no way to pay for medical care; people with pre-existing conditions or who are close to retirement age (but not old enough for Medicare) who the insurance companies refuse to even look at; people prioritizing which of the medicines that they are supposed to be on did they absolutely need and which could they sort of be without, even if it had long-term ill effects on their health; people celebrating that finally, finally, someone seems to be on their side.

[Don’t get me wrong: the ACA is not perfect.  The plans are still expensive (which is why there is premium assistance) but they are less expensive (often by several hundred dollars) than what you could get if you were buying insurance on the private market.  And yes, some people are going to pay higher premiums, although with the added benefit that your insurance company cannot drop you if you get cancer, or if they find out you have a pre-existing condition.  And, judging from a lot of the people I have talked to, the most important part of the ACA is the expansion of Medicaid.]

There are so many people who are worse off  in this world.  I have a roof (at least for this month — we just paid the mortgage), I have food on my table, I have health insurance.

I need to remember all of that, and stay grounded.

But I still look at the situation and wonder — how did we get here? How did we — so rich in technology, in resources, in food — develop into such a nation of uncaring bastards that we really do not, as a nation, care for our fellow human beings?  That we are willing to say to millions of children, “we don’t care if you starve?” How can there be people who want to say to those who are seriously ill and can’t get insurance, “It’s not my problem — go ahead and die?”

It looks like Social Darwinism is alive and well in the new millennium.  We are all the poorer for it, in moral, ethical, and spiritual terms, if not financially.

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Phrase of the day

Habla Inglese?

Oh.

No habla español. Le llamaremos en español después.

Bueno noches.

(“Speak English? Oh. I do not speak Spanish.  Someone will call you in Spanish later.  Good Night.”  Of course, I may have misread or misheard what the native Spanish speaker who was telling me this said, and in case, my Spanish accent is absolutely execrable, so it may be unintentionally funny. [ETA:  My friend Sarah tells me that my accent is not all that horrible, but that I do have more of a Spanish accent than a Mexican one. She has spent a fair chunk of time in Spain, so I am willing to take her word for it.])

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