There is so much to write about… Capital punishment and the botched execution in Oklahoma. A school shooting that did not happen because gun control laws worked the way they should.  Vincent and Frank, a tale of two Mustangs.

But…

My illness turned out to be a nasty combination of bronchitis and pneumonia, requiring three different antibiotics to treat.  I have gotten better enough to check my email, web-surf a little, and go to work for a few hours a day, but writing a whole lot is quite frankly beyond me at the moment.

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How to know you’re sick.

…when you are excited (for some value thereof) that your temperature has been less than 101 all day (for the first time in five days) and  that you actually got a shower.

It was a bad cold which morphed into bronchitis and a ear infection [edited to add: and pneumonia! whee!]. I have spent days lying in bed with no energy, watching a lot of BBC America (and discovering the wonder that is Orphan Black) and catching up with back DVRed episodes of Jeopardy! and Dr. Who.  I didn’t even check my email for three days.

Yes, I have seen a doctor (two days ago) and am on antibiotics, which seem to be working, but slowly.

My, this has been tiring.  Time to nap.

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Happy Birthday to me.

Happy Birthday to me.

New hair!

 

Yesterday was my birthday.  I have a lot of thoughts on the matter, so what am I writing about? Hair.

I have been coloring my hair the past few months.  Last year I was prescribed a medicine for a while that, among other unpleasant side effects, caused some of my hair to fall out.  It grew back in — mostly gray.  I always told myself I was not a vain woman (believe me, I have nothing to be vain about, not that that ever stopped anyone), but the gray just made me feel old.

My forays into color had been warm golden brown with red highlights.  Great color.  Roughly what I had when I was twenty. But, in the end, merely nice.  I wanted something more.

I have always vaguely envied my friends who have the “run a trimmer over the entire scalp, dye blue” aesthetic, but that has never been… me.  (For one thing it’s a lot cheaper than getting longer hair dyed.)

Yesterday I went for my traditional birthday haircut, and decided to go bolder.  So my new hair: a dark red that is almost maroon.  It is not my natural hair color; I’m not sure it is a color found in nature other than in dark cherry hardwood flooring.

It makes my eyes look greener, which makes me happy.

What do you think?

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Apropos that last post, I just wanted to mention that Raiders of the Lost Ark has one of my favorite movie quotes ever.  When Marian comments that Indiana Jones is not the man she knew ten years before, he replies  “It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage.”

Ain’t that the truth.

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Saving for what?

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the last movie showing at the Century 21 theater in San Jose.  The Century 21, which dates from 1964, was a wonderful place to see movies: one of the last widescreen theaters in the area, it was the perfect environment to see popcorn movies.  The dome could hold a thousand people, and the acoustics were great. (There were, however bad seats: in a place that large, sitting way off to the side made it difficult to get a clear view of the screen.)  The Rocket Scientist and I saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkhaban there, cheering with the huge sold-out first showing crowd as Hermione decked Draco Malfoy.

Appropriately, given that there is a fight going on about the preservation of the domes, the last movie was Raiders of the Lost Ark.  The outfit that was showing “vintage” movies on weekends (The Retrodome) gave out plastic fedoras and small rubber snakes.  There was also a button with a quote from the movie (“Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?”) which I immediately put on my backpack but which has now disappeared. (It makes me feel older than I can express that a movie I waited three hours to get opening day tickets for  in Boston when I was in college is now “vintage.”)

The organization that ran the theaters did not own the land under them.  The lease came up this spring, and rather than renew it, the landowners opted to lease the land instead to developer of Santana Row, the faux-village mixed-use development across the street. Intended to evoke the feeling of large cities, with retail on the ground floor and housing up above, Santana Row only resembles a cityscape as kept up by Disney.  It’s too neat, too tidy, too upscale, too… Silicon Valley … to be authentic. I go to the theater in the Row often — it’s a nice enough multiplex — because it tends to show more artsy and independent films. Other than that, I avoid it like the plague.

The new lessees have stated their intention to demolish the domes, a local landmark for fifty years.  The city is considering landmark designation, and I am sure there is an effort to get federal or state protection as well.  The developer has stated that even if they are forced to retain the outer shell of the buildings, they will gut the interiors and use them for something other than theaters. This is crazy: the largest central dome is a great performance venue.  Don’t want to use it for movies?  Use it for live theater.  With a few tweaks, it would be fantastic.

Should the city try and save it?  I don’t know.  So much of historic preservation is a matter of picking battles.  The domes are unique, but are they worth spending the political and other capital needed to keep them intact?  I’m not sure.

Preservation is so often a balancing act: nostalgia for the past (which I think is driving a lot of the “Save the Domes” movement) can’t in and of itself be enough to hold onto buildings. Where the interesting buildings were built in the last half of the 20th century, it becomes difficult to assess the actual value of buildings to the future.  Holding onto the past because we are demoralized by the insane pace of change under our feet is not in and of itself enough, nor should it be.

Not that I don’t understand the nostalgia.  I have lived in this area for a quarter of the century, and watched, often grief-stricken,  as agricultural fields have given way to housing and office parks.  The fields are remembered in the names of the streets that have been shoved on top of them, but that’s about it. “Pruneyard” and “Cherry Orchard” were not given those names because they sounded cute.

I’m fighting this in my backyard, too.  A local shopping center is being redeveloped into a Santana Row-like mixed use center, except much uglier.  The fight going on centers around a small cheese and produce market, beloved by pretty much everyone.  The market owns its land, but not the land that they have been using for parking.  That land is slated to be turned into buildings.  Unlike the domes, nostalgia for the past is not driving the  fight:  a totally unprepossessing building, the Milk Pail is a vital resource for anyone who loves cooking for a ten-mile radius.

A candidate for City Council has a Daily Kos diary in which he sneeringly referred to the “no-growthers” in Mountain View.  That would be a lot of the people in my neighborhood: it is our traffic that is being snarled, our schools which are being impacted.  Fighting to keep our way of life should not be derided. Funny, but the people unhappy about development seem to live in the neighborhoods east of El Camino. Guess where the bulk of the  development is going on?

I do understand the need for some growth, especially for housing. It is bad enough that the tech companies (I’m looking at you Google, but you’re not the only one) have driven the housing market up.  Recently, the spiking rents caused a member of the city’s Human Rights Commission to leave and move to Washington, since she and her husband could no longer afford to rent an apartment in Mountain View. The city keeps wanting to add jobs — given the tax structures in California, a city’s corporate base is pretty much its tax base — without adequately addressing the housing problem. I would be less unhappy about the new apartments going up if I thought at least some of them were reasonably priced, but they won’t be. My kids will not be able to afford to live anywhere near here: already the Not-So-Little Drummer boy is saving up to move to some other part of the country.  The diversity of ages, races and socioeconomic statuses that I have loved here, that made my town such a special place, is being homogenized out.  We’re not Palo Alto, but we’re getting there fast.

Given the destruction of my town’s character, I have a hard time giving more than a passing sigh at the fate of the Century Domes.

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Lazy meanderings.

I am working again now. It’s a temporary, part-time job. I actually like temporary assignments: I like the goal oriented nature of the work. And besides, it’s good to be useful. Longer term work with more hours would be good, however — I think I am still going to keep looking.

I am back watching The Voice.  The new season has a lot more depth than last season, and the two one-named artists — Shakira and Usher, both of whom I enjoy watching as coaches — are back.  Not as many country singers as in past seasons — I would count only two of the remaining twenty as country.  A couple of blues, a few R&B, a lot of straight up rock & pop types.  Unlike the past two seasons, there are enough singers with at least some personality that I don’t have one person whom I hope wins. (Go, Josh Kaufman, go! Although if I were betting on the result, Sisaundra Lewis has an amazing voice of the type perfectly suited to this competition. As long as one of the teenagers who sing blues songs doesn’t win.  Sorry, but for most of them, they do not have enough life experience to actually connect with the material they belt out.) A couple of times coaches have commented that the talent pool is way deeper than at other singing competition shows, but they could as well say that it’s much deeper than Season 5.  I have already bought a couple of songs from the rounds before the iTunes sales even matter — I only did that once before (Caroline Glaser’s version of “The A Team,” which I love). (Oh, and Pharrell Williams is going to be a coach for Season 7! How cool is that?)

I should be posting more: writing that stays locked up on my “Writing” account doesn’t get seen by anyone.

It’s a lovely day in the neighborhood.  After being cold (for the Northern California in April value of cold) and rainy last week, the temperature has vaulted twenty degrees with brilliantly clear skies (and painfully bright sunshine).  A happy medium would be nice.

I hope all is well with you guys.

 

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Okay, I just need to whine some here.

Living with a chronic pain condition is hard. Being unemployed with a chronic pain condition is harder.

That seems counterintuitive, I know.  When you go to bed crying from the intense aching in your muscles that won’t respond to painkillers — or when you have to ration the effective painkillers because of what they do to your stomach — it might seem obvious that getting up the next day and going to work would be intolerable.

Wrong.

There are days, as I have written before, that it hurts to bloody breathe.  (Mornings like this morning.)  I have been having a lot of those days lately.  When I have a job to do, I have something to take my mind off my pain.  I have something productive facing me.  Is it still hard to work? Yes.  But I can still work — and still do good work — when I am struggling with pain.

Most of all, I have someone else to give me tasks.  I wish I could say that I had the self-discipline to set my own tasks, and not give in to the temptation to watch television, and move as little as possible.  I have been more successful the past few weeks than I have during some stretches in the past; I have written some, and I have kept up with my job hunting. Sometimes, though, I just need another person to require me to get things done: it’s easier to concentrate on somebody else’s tasks than figure out my own, especially if it is someone who is paying me. I spend time doing crosswords: my speed helps me judge (and increase) my mental acuity.

I do not use alcohol or drugs to control the pain.  (I could so easily get a green card, but have chosen not to.) This is partly because the side effects of drugs and alcohol: most opioid painkillers work only somewhat, and marijuana exacerbates depression. Alcohol makes me feel better for a short while, but makes the pain the next day far worse. I drink an occasional beer or glass of wine, but I have to be very careful not to have more than one (at most two) drinks, or I will pay for it heavily down the road.

Movement helps, if I can get myself moving.  Today, I had to do housecleaning, so by the afternoon my pain was down to a dull ache.  I can’t do a job with heavy physical requirements, but boy, would I welcome someone requiring me to use my brain.

It’s a disease, I keep telling myself.  A disorder.  Not a moral failing.

Working — especially for money — helps me convince myself of that.

Posted in Health | Tagged | 1 Comment

One of those days.

Which once again brings up the question of how much you have to buy at a Starbucks to make your presence there for (at this point, 3.5.) hours ethically supportable.  Thus far, it has been two Venti Skinny Carmel Macchiatos, one breakfast sandwich, and one of those ridiculously addictive carmel-pecan sticky buns.  We’re talking about $15 in drinks and food, or a little under $5 an hour.

Whatever the amount, it is far more ethically supportable than driving when you are dizzy enough that you have trouble walking.

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I’m okay. Sorry to scare anyone.

I just got a very concerned call.  It turns out that since my posts are cross-posted to both Twitter and Facebook, there was a tweet from me which said “We’re being held hostage.  At gunpoint.”

Um, no, I am not being literally held hostage. I should be more careful about how I title my posts, I guess.

The person was seriously worried, so I guess I should not be amused, but I am.  Bad Pat.

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As a follow-up to “We’re being held hostage. At gunpoint.” I would like to pass along a couple of links from the New York Times about “impulsive suicide.”  Making the means of suicide more difficult to get to reduces these.  There is a common belief that if you eliminate easy access to one means of suicide, people will just find another; it turns out in many cases this isn’t really true. I wish the people who make gun policy understood this.

Suicide with No Warning

The Urge To End I All: Understanding Suicide

One not quite on topic observation:  that second article reports that the methods which show the most premeditation such as planned overdose or wrist-cutting have the lowest rate of completion. (I refuse to use the word “success” in this context.) I’m not a psychiatrist but I wonder if this is because many pharmaceuticals are less deadly in large doses than one might expect.  I know from talking to others, for example, that LD50 (the dosage at which half the subjects die) for Klonopin, one of the most prescribed anti-anxiety drugs, is very high. I was in a group a few years ago with a woman who had taken sixty Neurontin and was exceedingly angry that it had had few effects.  My hunch is that the makers of psychiatric medications understand the dangers of patients trying to use them to kill themselves.  (Tylenol is another kettle of fish entirely: I don’t know if large doses will kill you quickly, but it will destroy your liver. Britain in the 1990s banned sales of large bottles of the drug.)

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I’m a few days late on these things…

1) I hope you have a lovely spring.  For any of you who live in the Northeast or Midwest, I hope that means that spring actually comes in soon.  Here’s hoping for no more snow.

2) I have not commented on the death of Fred Phelps.  I have worked on not paying attention to those people for a long time now (other than their case which hit the Supreme Court, where I had to reluctantly agree with them), and did not plan to start now.  However, three things:

John Scalzi at Whatever stated that the only response he had was to send $100 to the Trevor Project, and that beyond that he was not going to discuss it. Classy.

The Phelps clan still found time to picket a Lorde concert in Kansas City, where the counter-protest included people holding up a very large sign reading “Sorry for your loss.”  Very classy.

Fred Phelps died on the anniversary of Fred Rogers, who may have been one of the classiest people to walk the earth in my lifetime.  I only hope they meet up somewhere in the afterlife (I would never consign anyone, even Fred Phelps, to hell), and Phelps comes to understand the errors of his ways.

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Yay! Trivia!

I have found a new place to play trivia: The Freewheel Brewing Company in Redwood City, California. They have a trivia game every Monday night, hosted by a very lovely British woman whose name I can’t remember right now.  Unlike other pub trivia games I’ve played, there is an entry fee (three dollars, but it’s on the honor system), and there is only one prize (first place, $20 gift certificate).  However, it is actually written by the woman who runs the game, and in the three weeks I’ve played has been by far the best written and most interesting (and intelligent) pub trivia game I’ve competed in. She uses slides.  She has additional sheets called “Missing Link” and “Wheel of Fortune,” for which she gives clues after each of the four rounds.  The sooner you solve the puzzle the more points you get. 

The first week The Rocket Scientist played with me, and we came in fourth among about eight teams.  The next two weeks, playing by myself I came in fourth and third, respectively.  I have had a couple of solicitations from teams, but I want to see if I can win this thing solo before I join up with anyone else.

So, if you drop by, look for me and say hello.  If I don’t know you in real life, just say that you read my blog. 

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QOTD

From the Nerdist podcast he did, Tom Hanks on Hollywood: “It’s high school with ashtrays.”

(I love Tom Hanks.)

Posted in Culture (popular and otherwise) | Tagged | Leave a comment

We’re being held hostage. At gunpoint.

Obama nominated a very worthy candidate for Surgeon General. Dr. Vivek Murthy has degrees from Harvard and Yale, teaches medicine at Harvard, and is an attending physician at Brigham and Women’s Hospital.  He is involved in medical nonprofits and a federal medical advisory board.

He may not even be considered by the whole Senate.  What could he have done to deserve this?  Lied on his income taxes?  Not paid his nanny well enough? Conducted abortions?  No.  He had the utter temerity to recognize — and call out — a significance health concern in America today.

He identified guns as a public health issue.  That, according to the NRA, makes him totally unqualified to be Surgeon General. Congress is completely in the back pocket of the NRA, especially in an election year, so there is no chance of him being confirmed.  The administration will probably yank his nomination.

Can you think of any other case where an identified agent which resulted in the deaths of over 30,000 Americans in 2010 would not be considered a public health issue?  A crisis, even?  No.  And the situation gets worse when you look at young people, especially young African-American males: guns are the leading cause of death among African-American teenagers.  Not just homicide, either: a lot of suicides are committed with guns. Guns killed twice as many kids in 2010 as cancer did. A gun in a home is eleven times more likely to be used in a completed or attempted suicide than in a self-defense  scenario.  Homicide? Seven times more likely than self defense.  Accidental shootings? Four times.

Identifying gun deaths as a public health issue does not necessarily mean people can’t have guns.  But it might mean that gun owners be required to take safety courses or pass a test to be licensed (a standard for anyone wanting to drive a car — and cars are not designed to kill things).  They might be required to pass background checks —  God forbid some would-be gun owner has to be shown not to have spent time as a guest of a psychiatric facility.  And they might have to deal with waiting periods — which might mean you can’t buy a gun at Wal-Mart the day your wife tells you she’s leaving.  It might save some lives (a lot of completed suicides are impulsive, and guns are a very good way to kill yourself if you are real serious), but who cares about that?  It would require hunters to get their ducks in a row, metaphorically speaking, well before the season started, and that’s just too much trouble. Then there are restrictions on where you can carry your gun:  the idiot who carried his assault rifle into a grocery store to show he valued his Second Amendment right should be able to scare the crap out of anyone he wants.  Other people should just have to cope.

(And let’s not get into the intersection of guns and “stand your ground laws.”  That’s an entirely separate and potentially horrific kettle of fish.)

The Secret Service calls in anyone who says anything even vaguely threatening about the president.  Yet gun nuts have shown up at presidential rallies toting arms suited to going to war.  Guns pose a greater threat to the public at large than terrorists — yet what are we collectively worried about?

The NRA talks about the chilling effect that gun regulations has on their exercise of their Second Amendment rights. They ignore the fact that all Constitutional freedoms have had limits placed on them:  you can’t yell “fire in a crowded theater, for example, and according to the Supreme Court this year, the cops can have you forcibly removed from your home so they can ask someone else to authorize a search of the property without a warrant.

The zealots at the NRA do not care about the rest of us.  They don’t care how many kids kill themselves because guns are so easy to get.  People die in droves from guns every year, and the NRA fights every single effort to regulate them — no matter how minor the inconvenience it would cause, no matter how many lives it might save.

And now, a good candidate for the highest medical office in the land who recognizes a public health risk when he sees it will never get to hold that post.

I don’t know about any of you, but this has gotten very, very old.  I am trying not to wish the worst on the heads of the NRA, that their child might be killed by a gun, because I am a better person than that, but it’s hard.

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I have been doing a lot of reading of blogs and other online media lately. (Yes, I know, instead of writing my own online content.)  There is a lot of good material out there, usually in my case linked to by people on Facebook, Mike the Mad Biologist, or Slacktavist.  

Mike has been posting items about the vaccination crisis (my words — I think any time crackpots with the ability to injure people get public respect it’s time to worry).  Given my stance on this, and the fact that much of these links reiterate things I’ve already said (albeit with statistics), I haven’t written about them.  One issue I had not thought of until today: what about the poor pediatricians whose patients have parents who refuse vaccination?

It’s a very serious issue, one which puts pediatricians on the horns of a dilemma.  Much the same way that an attorney represents a juvenile, not the parent that is paying them, their patient is the child, not the parent refusing the vaccination.  And what is the responsibility of the doctor to take into consideration the welfare of his other patients who may be exposed to an unvaccinated child? I would not want to be a pediatrician in this situation.  Some of them (about 30% in Connecticut in 2012, 21% in the Midwest) are choosing to “fire” the families, a perfectly rational response to irrational people in my book.

I should write about this in this post, but mainly I wanted to repeat an observation made in a Slate article by pediatrician Sydney Speisel:

 

The Internet permits people to write anything they want, and apparently people do just that, authoritatively, no matter whether their positions are (or are not) sensible or rational. To complicate things, we are all influenced by a fascinating psychological mechanism that automatically imputes gravitas, wisdom, and authority to anything presented in Times New Roman, even if the same would be dismissed out of hand if scrawled in chalk on a sidewalk. Googling “immunization” will give you lots and lots of hits that probably ought to have been written in chalk on a sidewalk.

 

The bolded parts (emphasis was mine) made me giggle extensively; in part because it is soooo true.

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