I have been struggling with my feelings about several of my relatives. I feel they are good people, who have been there for me when I needed me. They are against the death penalty. They have never expressed racist comments in my hearing. They are not anti-immigrant.

They’re voting for Trump.

I know, only white supremacists could vote for Trump. Only people who feel no pain at kids in cages. Only completely soulless monsters. I see this all the time on Facebook.

Except maybe not. What — or who — could cause conservative but otherwise caring people to support a morally challenged pathological liar?

Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

These members of my family are strongly — one might say rabidly — anti-abortion. Control of the Supreme Court, and therefore reproductive rights, rests on the shoulders of an eighty-seven-year old woman with a history of cancer. If you honestly believe abortion is murder, as my relatives claim to do, you can overlook a great deal to possibly get control of SCOTUS.

They can deplore the lying. They can be appalled at the white supremacy. They can be saddened by kids in cages. They can be concerned about the federal response to COVID-19 (although believing that it is really the governor’s fault your state is a hot spot).

Then the equation kicks in: there were 600,000 abortions in the U.S last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. And before that. What are a few thousand kids on the border against those numbers? An anti-abortion Court won’t stop all of them, but if Roe v. Wade were overturned…

In all likelihood RBG won’t survive the next four years. Biden will name someone young, who will protect reproductive choice for years. Trump, on the other hand, will name someone like Kavanaugh: young, conservative, anti-abortion.

I don’t know what to do with this. I think I understand their motivations, but I can’t bring myself to respect their choice. I’m sure they feel the same about me. But I do know that simply dismissing them does no good.

Because what ever happens, when this is all over, we are all going to have to live with each other.