I have been re-reading a bunch of my posts. I think I have a “voice,” but I also think the voice tends to be over-serious, humorless, and somewhat presumptuous. I know there are political blogs out there, and personal blogs out there, but I have never figured out which I want this to be. So I often end up writing about political issues in the context of my own life, such as my post on the schools in Pinellas County and “To my Foremothers.” But then I write about purely personal matters, such as in “WWMD?” (I do write purely political posts occasionally, such as “Hope.”
Is it true that there personal is political? And vice versa?
There are so many blogs out there doing real journalism, or real opinion, or real… everything…. that this endeavor sometime seems silly. I’m doing this for myself, I say, and then I ask “if I’m doing it for myself why should I care how well I write, or more significantly whether people read it?”
If a tree falls in a forest does it make a sound?
In addition, I am having one of my crises where I can’t tell if I write well. (I know I definitely need an editor, but seems like overkill for a blog.) Or if my writing deteriorates as I age. I would hope it would get better given that theoretically I am amassing both writing experience and life wisdom, but I don’t know. I do know that my kids, being older, provide amusing blog fodder far less frequently.
Finally, I am currently unemployed, trying to find a temporary job that will hold me over until next year. Field work — even being a grunt — becomes addictive: the esprit d’ corps, the thrill of the hunt, ideological and societal zeal, and having a concrete goal create a siren song hard to resist. Even if, three weeks in, I ask myself, “Why do I do this, exactly?”
Oh, well. Time to stop sniffling and actually start writing something substantive.