Staying alive.

Once again, on Friday I did not go to Costco, even though the Rocket Scientist did. I am stuck in this damned house for a long time yet. Even after things “reopen” around here, given my co-morbidities, I need to be very careful what activities I undertake.

I hate this. It’s summer — it’s horrible — one of the ways I cope is to go to the beach. I can’t do that. (At least not yet.) I want to just go somewhere — anywhere — and I can’t. I have tendinitis so I can’t even go on long walks.

I don’t really care about me. I’m willing to risk getting COVID-19 if I can just get out of this house.

But I can’t. I can’t risk my family’s health. I can’t risk making them say goodbye to me over the phone. I have a responsibility to not cause them grief If I can.

I can’t risk other people’s lives. I can’t risk giving the virus to some poor grocery clerk who doesn’t have the economic choice to shelter in place. Railfan used to be a grocery clerk, and I can imagine him having to choose between keeping his job and safeguarding his health.

And I can’t risk putting some poor nurse or doctor through what the medical staff above went through. I can’t risk giving them yet another fatality to cope with. I can’t risk giving them this disease.

I owe it to the memory of my Mom, the best nurse I know.

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2 Responses to Staying alive.

  1. I’m with you! I mean, my situation is slightly different (I like being home and am only missing grocery shopping), but I can’t risk my mom. That’s way more important to me than my own health. So I stay home, have groceries delivered, and wait. I wish I knew how long, but I’m becoming better with uncertainty as this drags on. ❤

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