Letters

Dear Red-Headed Menace,

The fact that you are graduating from college next weeks shocks me to the core. How dare you grow up on me!! That said, I am more proud of you than I can say. I hope graduate school goes as well.

Love,

A very proud Mom.

 

****

Dear Robert Downey, Jr.

If you don’t get an Oscar for Avengers: Endgame, there will be no justice in the world. Given that it is just a comic book movie, I’m not holding my breath.

You are my favorite Avenger. Sincerely,

A fan who has a tremendous crush on you.

****

Dear Rachel Maddow:

I am not viewing your show as often  as I used to.  This is not because you are any less informative and entertaining than usual, but because I start crying when I read or view something about the crumbling state of our democracy. I find myself watching things like Forged in Fire on the History Channel.

Keep the faith for those of us who are struggling,

An occasional viewer.

****

Dear Georgia legislature:

I wish you were all women so you could have some idea about how horrible your abortion bill is. And I say this: if it goes into effect and is not struck down by the courts, I will risk that conspiracy charge to help women get the health care they need, including abortion.

I am not going to wish that the women in your lives need abortions: I will not wish ill on innocent third parties.

Just sign me,

Defiant.

****

Dear Anti-Vaxxer teen, and your parents:

I don’t want you to get serious side effects from your chickenpox (don’t you know that an airline attendant died recently from encephalitis caused by measles?) but boy howdy do hope they itch like crazy.

People like you are a menace to society. I would call you stupid, but the problem is a lot of you are relatively intelligent about other things. You’re not stupid, you are arrogant and selfish and close-minded. Sorry, your Google search does not trump decades of  research and development into safe vaccines.

All I can say is you had better not complain when you get shingles later in life. You may think that chickenpox is nothing, but I bet you change your tune when you are subject to the stabbing nerve pain shingles can cause. I have had shingles, and they are horrible. My father had shingles, and his doctors were worried he would lose his eye.

So if you want to forego vaccines, you better stay the hell away from civilized (and responsible) society.

I am totally

Disgusted

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