You don’t know what you’ve got ’til its gone…

Well, it’s been a while…

I could talk about work and how Donald Trump’s mischaracterization of what is going on with California elections is both wrong and harmful, but I just don’t have the energy. I don’t want to talk politics more generally, at least not yet, other than to say that I am very happy that the House is now blue.

I don’t have a lot of energy because I was in the hospital for a day, as a result of the worst asthma attack I have ever had.

The Camp fire dumped massive amounts of smoke — including particulates — into the air, and because of the climactic conditions in the Bay Area, all of it funneled down here. For a few days our air quality was the worst in the world — worse than Bejing, or Mexico City. Walking from the office into the parking lot made me short of breath.

On Tuesday, as I started driving on my way to work, I became very short of breath. I headed for the nearest ER, and by the time I got there I could not draw enough breath to finish a complete sentence. They put me in a bed and spent the next 30 hours running breathing treatments every few hours and giving me steroids. (Oddly enough, I wasn’t worried about asthma — I was concerned that I was about to have a heart attack. Fortunately that was not the case.) Even though I know am getting more oxygen, I still feel like crap; I am still coughing a lot.

I haven’t been able to cook Thanksgiving, and I am upset about that. All I could manage to do was cranberry sauce, when the past few years I have been doing the stuffing and the cranberry sauce, and some years the turkey (the Rocket Scientist and I switch off). I cook the cornbread and the veggies for the stuffing. I roast the sweet potatoes that RS then turns into a lovely casserole.

I am fretful because I have left work at the worst possible time. I have a supportive boss, bbut I still worry. Given being sick, I have been only working and average of 30 hours a week. I am upset about not being able to earn what I wanted to, but I am more upset about the burden this has left for other people in my team, especially the other senior verifier. She’s young, but she is also working 75 hour weeks.

But as fretful as I am, and as bad as I feel physically, I recognize how lucky I am.  I had asthma caused by the bad air (I really did not appreciate good air until it went away), but I did not lose my home, or my cats, or people I loved. I did not lose my life.

Something to be thankful for, definitely.

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