Hi ho, hi ho…

After several years away from the paid job market, I’m working for money again. It’s the first time I’ve worked in an office in over a decade (my last paid job was freelance — I only went to the office once in two-years to work out a payroll problem).

Okay, so it’s a minimal part-time job, it’s still a job. I’m working for a nonprofit that I’ve been volunteering at for nearly a year.

It’s amazing how being paid changes my perspective. Before I was completely confident — what were they going to do if I screwed up, dock my pay? Fire me? Yeah, right. Now, of course, they can do those things. And I find I’m nervous to the point of driving myself to drink. Well, not really, but I think about it. I’ve driven myself to chocolate, certainly.

I really like the work I’ve been assigned. I feel a need to do it as well as possible and therefore am probably taking longer than I might otherwise, but by golly I am going to do this right. This is a problem.

It’s a problem because I could easily see myself putting in a lot of uncompensated overtime. Not because I was asked to, mind you, just because I really want to get this done, and done well. I have trouble walking away before I have gotten to “a good stopping point,” and have trouble not fretting about it when I am not at work. I have to resist the temptation to go in to work when I am not required to be there.

Obsessive, much?

It’s going to be a struggle for me, finding a good work/life balance here. And I am worried that the stress I am subjecting myself to will make me stupid — it’s already doing so. And I’m worried about burnout — and that if I burnout, it will be from self-induced stress, not from the work itself.

Still, a job! What fun.

“Hi ho, hi ho…”

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